The last few weeks I have been reflecting on how a full circle has occurred in my life. By this I mean that I’ve had experiences – through time and space – that are now being experienced again on some levels.
There is recognition of my environment, which is where I’m living geographically. There is recognition of my world of work and connection with others. There is recognition of the thoughts and feelings I am experiencing. There is recognition of the landscapes, smells, sounds and moods of the morning and evening skies.
A new time, an old place. Kitsilano
My journey started in Kitsilano 55+ years ago (which is where I am now, again). I loved the area then because of the trees, gardens, and proximity to English Bay. I had a playground and some friends I appreciated. I had kitties and bugs to play with. I enjoyed the sunny days, and the rainy and snowy days. I could not stay inside. I could not stay still. I loved to dance, draw, sing, invent things, swim, bike, and teach the neighbourhood kids how to add and read (because I had a wee blackboard attached on the wall of my playroom in the basement).
There was so much wonder and beauty and possibility living here, however an extremely disturbing home life was dripping poison into my veins, filling me with anxiety, fear, self-loathing, conflict, insecurity and anger.
This ‘world’ pushed me to another world, one in which I was very much alone and had to learn to survive physically, emotionally and mentally – on my own. I had very close calls to not surviving this period of my life. I was 14 going on 100.
Yet I did. I kept moving, which seemed – and still seems – to be my Modus Operandi. I have moved all over the Lower Mainland. I have held many jobs in many different industries. I have met many people and lived different lifestyles. I have experienced many different ways of being. I have lived, loved and lost almost anyone and everything you could imagine.
Sometimes I have waited too long to make a move, and therefore the damage has been harder to repair. This last big transition of my life is an example of this, but I embrace the time and space that’s ahead of me for the healing journey.
I am back where I started, and I am seeing it again for the first time. I’ve been given yet another chance to reconnect with my Self, Soul and Heart. It feels uncomfortably familiar, yet liberating. I will walk through the darkness of the New Moon, and embrace the cycles of new beginnings that will be revealed on the other side.
Bye for now,